








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1583 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 418 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 148 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




175 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11353 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,596 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5309 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5484 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5293 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 6510 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,534,926 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 811 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PhxR | 62% | 143 |
| #2 | Ignas | 61% | 185 |
| #3 | negative | 56% | 126 |
| #4 | Freaky bob | 55% | 130 |
| #5 | ุ | 53% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | purpol | 48% | 113 |
| #11 | Salieras | 45% | 213 |
| #12 | ybf | 43% | 133 |
| #13 | Vilius | 43% | 80 |
| #14 | scuffyG | 29% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Salieras | 62 | 0.0143 |
| #2 | purpol | 29 | 0.0124 |
| #3 | bob | 28 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | ʝυɱριɳɠIʂNσƚACɾιɱҽ | 25 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | yeatfan45 | 21 | 0.0154 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Salieras | 1076 | 0.25 | 23 min |
| #2 | ʝυɱριɳɠIʂNσƚACɾιɱҽ | 711 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #3 | Freaky bob | 347 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #4 | negative | 333 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #5 | purpol | 323 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PhxR | +2.38 | 86 | 49 |
| #2 | scarfz | +2.13 | 86 | 48 |
| #3 | Salieras | +1.77 | 89 | 55 |
| #4 | yeatfan45 | +0.52 | 74 | 53 |
| #5 | Freaky bob | +0.49 | 81 | 53 |





