








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 598 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 185 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3810 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,423 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3824 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4190 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3819 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3590 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $746,767 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1027 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PhxR | 66% | 89 |
| #2 | ุ | 62% | 97 |
| #3 | Ignas | 61% | 114 |
| #4 | Freaky bob | 58% | 71 |
| #5 | purpol | 51% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | bob | 45% | 110 |
| #11 | Vilius | 44% | 32 |
| #12 | negative | 43% | 86 |
| #13 | nh | 40% | 25 |
| #14 | scuffyG | 39% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scarfz | 48 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | Salieras | 35 | 0.0161 |
| #3 | purpol | 24 | 0.0161 |
| #4 | bob | 16 | 0.0070 |
| #5 | ุ | 15 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scarfz | 642 | 0.10 | 15 min |
| #2 | Salieras | 509 | 0.23 | 11 min |
| #3 | negative | 215 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | purpol | 213 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | Ignas | 193 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PhxR | +3.13 | 86 | 48 |
| #2 | scarfz | +2.01 | 85 | 48 |
| #3 | Salieras | +1.95 | 89 | 52 |
| #4 | Freaky bob | +1.86 | 84 | 51 |
| #5 | ʝυɱριɳɠIʂNσƚACɾιɱҽ | +0.15 | 68 | 62 |





