








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 119 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 230 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




336 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5312 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,302 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11273 | 48% |
| Smokes | 4713 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3526 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3790 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,186,614 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 857 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zundo | 84% | 91 |
| #2 | ᵃʳᶜʰᵉʳ⇀ | 83% | 30 |
| #3 | arctic | 82% | 39 |
| #4 | tidy | 74% | 192 |
| #5 | fatdog | 74% | 238 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | K|ng 𓆩≽^•♕•^≼𓆪 | 64% | 117 |
| #14 | unna | 64% | 33 |
| #15 | Excel 擅长 | 58% | 36 |
| #16 | Goober | 52% | 46 |
| #17 | Daddy Illchay 凸(-_-)凸 | 50% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fatdog | 98 | 0.0218 |
| #2 | 사나 ♥ | 75 | 0.0263 |
| #3 | pub_rob | 54 | 0.0141 |
| #4 | K|ng 𓆩≽^•♕•^≼𓆪 | 50 | 0.0222 |
| #5 | zundo | 48 | 0.0299 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fatdog | 1206 | 0.27 | 30 min |
| #2 | tidy | 1115 | 0.30 | 28 min |
| #3 | pub_rob | 1083 | 0.28 | 34 min |
| #4 | raas | 745 | 0.21 | 18 min |
| #5 | K|ng 𓆩≽^•♕•^≼𓆪 | 628 | 0.28 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arctic | +4.79 | 83 | 63 |
| #2 | ᵃʳᶜʰᵉʳ⇀ | +4.15 | 91 | 55 |
| #3 | zundo | +4.12 | 80 | 53 |
| #4 | tidy | +3.87 | 92 | 69 |
| #5 | fatdog | +2.47 | 76 | 68 |





