








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 678 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 302 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 100 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




133 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6439 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,738 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10093 | 35% |
| Smokes | 6705 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5211 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 6729 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,458,636 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 237 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zundo | 82% | 44 |
| #2 | μ¬λ β₯ | 80% | 50 |
| #3 | fatdog | 78% | 108 |
| #4 | arctic | 75% | 44 |
| #5 | Yellow | 73% | 206 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yellow | 107 | 0.0280 |
| #2 | fatfuck π©β½^β’β©β’^βΌπͺβ β€ | 47 | 0.0161 |
| #3 | fatdog | 37 | 0.0182 |
| #4 | tyrone | 27 | 0.0108 |
| #5 | tidy | 21 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tidy | 1243 | 0.30 | 34 min |
| #2 | Yellow | 839 | 0.22 | 17 min |
| #3 | fatfuck π©β½^β’β©β’^βΌπͺβ β€ | 683 | 0.23 | 18 min |
| #4 | raas | 626 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #5 | fatdog | 559 | 0.28 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arctic | +4.17 | 83 | 66 |
| #2 | zundo | +3.88 | 81 | 57 |
| #3 | tidy | +3.41 | 93 | 72 |
| #4 | tyrone | +2.87 | 65 | 52 |
| #5 | fatdog | +2.01 | 75 | 66 |





