








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 790 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 140 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




142 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5179 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,787 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6176 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5220 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4222 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4169 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $613,414 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 71 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | α΅Κ³αΆΚ°α΅Κ³β | 91% | 22 |
| #2 | zundo | 89% | 53 |
| #3 | misty | 78% | 45 |
| #4 | pub_rob | 78% | 108 |
| #5 | arctic | 77% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Yellow | 74% | 238 |
| #10 | fatfuck π©β½^β’β©β’^βΌπͺβ β€ | 72% | 53 |
| #11 | raas | 71% | 45 |
| #12 | Goober | 68% | 28 |
| #13 | K|ng π©β½^β’ββ’^βΌπͺ | 63% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yellow | 136 | 0.0304 |
| #2 | μ¬λ β₯ | 53 | 0.0307 |
| #3 | fatfuck π©β½^β’β©β’^βΌπͺβ β€ | 39 | 0.0356 |
| #4 | zundo | 38 | 0.0378 |
| #5 | pub_rob | 29 | 0.0143 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yellow | 974 | 0.22 | 19 min |
| #2 | tidy | 905 | 0.29 | 23 min |
| #3 | pub_rob | 539 | 0.27 | 17 min |
| #4 | arctic | 388 | 0.26 | 11 min |
| #5 | μ¬λ β₯ | 289 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arctic | +4.96 | 87 | 61 |
| #2 | tidy | +3.94 | 91 | 67 |
| #3 | α΅Κ³αΆΚ°α΅Κ³β | +3.79 | 85 | 61 |
| #4 | zundo | +2.80 | 76 | 52 |
| #5 | fatdog | +2.26 | 75 | 70 |





