








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 725 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 262 matches | ||
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5545 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,929 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6947 | 33% |
| Smokes | 4725 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4514 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4743 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $467,016 of utility $54 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 139 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | misty | 88% | 57 |
| #2 | zundo | 85% | 27 |
| #3 | sometimes good sometimes bad | 83% | 35 |
| #4 | α΅Κ³αΆΚ°α΅Κ³β | 79% | 24 |
| #5 | arctic | 78% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | Ubby | 70% | 23 |
| #15 | Sheesh | 69% | 39 |
| #16 | monty | 67% | 27 |
| #17 | rocket | 65% | 23 |
| #18 | fatfuck π©β½^β’β©β’^βΌπͺβ β€ | 65% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yellow | 95 | 0.0258 |
| #2 | fatdog | 50 | 0.0158 |
| #3 | pub_rob | 48 | 0.0116 |
| #4 | fatfuck π©β½^β’β©β’^βΌπͺβ β€ | 48 | 0.0249 |
| #5 | K|ng π©β½^β’ββ’^βΌπͺ | 24 | 0.0210 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pub_rob | 1077 | 0.26 | 34 min |
| #2 | fatdog | 823 | 0.26 | 21 min |
| #3 | Yellow | 745 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #4 | arctic | 736 | 0.26 | 20 min |
| #5 | fatfuck π©β½^β’β©β’^βΌπͺβ β€ | 399 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arctic | +3.96 | 83 | 68 |
| #2 | tidy | +3.53 | 92 | 69 |
| #3 | α΅Κ³αΆΚ°α΅Κ³β | +1.70 | 83 | 59 |
| #4 | zundo | +1.23 | 81 | 53 |
| #5 | fatdog | +1.12 | 73 | 69 |





