








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 231 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 65 matches | ||
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 56 matches | ||
| Wingman | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




80 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6111 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,208 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3935 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5875 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 4427 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2971 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,551,846 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Regu | 56% | 186 |
| #2 | Crooksy | 54% | 224 |
| #3 | Larry L. | 53% | 64 |
| #4 | untied shoe | 51% | 374 |
| #5 | JJ Frankie JJ | 48% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | dadacastle | 47% | 83 |
| #8 | Dumps | 46% | 112 |
| #9 | Am6roz | 45% | 358 |
| #10 | TheRealJigbat | 44% | 205 |
| #11 | Dull Pencilz | 38% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | untied shoe | 44 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Regu | 32 | 0.0086 |
| #3 | Default | 30 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | Am6roz | 21 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Crooksy | 17 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | untied shoe | 1969 | 0.26 | 40 min |
| #2 | Am6roz | 1183 | 0.16 | 22 min |
| #3 | Default | 549 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #4 | Regu | 339 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #5 | dadacastle | 328 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stinjamín Franklin | +3.12 | 64 | 56 |
| #2 | Dumps | +1.50 | 40 | 58 |
| #3 | untied shoe | +1.47 | 59 | 69 |
| #4 | Crooksy | +0.25 | 54 | 47 |
| #5 | Default | +0.17 | 43 | 52 |





