








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 269 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 40 matches | ||
| Premier | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3579 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,565 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2930 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4003 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3153 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3479 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,204,358 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Regu | 48% | 143 |
| #2 | Stinjamín Franklin | 47% | 206 |
| #3 | Crooksy | 47% | 90 |
| #4 | JJ Frankie JJ | 46% | 24 |
| #5 | untied shoe | 43% | 387 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | untied shoe | 43% | 387 |
| #6 | Am6roz | 42% | 386 |
| #7 | TheRealJigbat | 38% | 105 |
| #8 | Dumps | 38% | 71 |
| #9 | Dull Pencilz | 38% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | untied shoe | 56 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | Stinjamín Franklin | 26 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | Am6roz | 25 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Regu | 24 | 0.0086 |
| #5 | Crooksy | 10 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | untied shoe | 2132 | 0.27 | 46 min |
| #2 | Am6roz | 1347 | 0.17 | 26 min |
| #3 | Stinjamín Franklin | 354 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | Regu | 245 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | Dull Pencilz | 139 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stinjamín Franklin | +3.22 | 65 | 55 |
| #2 | untied shoe | +1.74 | 60 | 69 |
| #3 | Dumps | +0.96 | 36 | 56 |
| #4 | Default | +0.59 | 44 | 53 |
| #5 | Regu | +0.17 | 41 | 43 |





