








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 156 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3618 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,618 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1344 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2329 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2982 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1963 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,012,406 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 35 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PiperIXI | 58% | 33 |
| #2 | Stinjamín Franklin | 54% | 224 |
| #3 | Regu | 49% | 181 |
| #4 | JJ Frankie JJ | 48% | 31 |
| #5 | untied shoe | 48% | 232 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Am6roz | 46% | 217 |
| #9 | TheRealJigbat | 45% | 89 |
| #10 | Larry L. | 43% | 23 |
| #11 | dadacastle | 42% | 36 |
| #12 | Dull Pencilz | 32% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stinjamín Franklin | 31 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | untied shoe | 27 | 0.0057 |
| #3 | Regu | 27 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | Default | 18 | 0.0099 |
| #5 | Am6roz | 10 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | untied shoe | 1242 | 0.26 | 23 min |
| #2 | Am6roz | 741 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #3 | Regu | 348 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #4 | Stinjamín Franklin | 341 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #5 | Default | 227 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stinjamín Franklin | +3.09 | 64 | 56 |
| #2 | Dumps | +1.62 | 42 | 51 |
| #3 | untied shoe | +1.25 | 61 | 68 |
| #4 | Default | +0.64 | 49 | 53 |
| #5 | Crooksy | +0.42 | 54 | 49 |





