








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 268 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 70 matches | ||
| Premier | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4057 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,081 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6900 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6920 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 7975 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 4286 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $970,331 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 367 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crooksy | 46% | 217 |
| #2 | Regu | 45% | 230 |
| #3 | Stinjamín Franklin | 45% | 358 |
| #4 | untied shoe | 45% | 609 |
| #5 | Default | 42% | 386 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Default | 42% | 386 |
| #6 | JJ Frankie JJ | 40% | 58 |
| #7 | TheRealJigbat | 39% | 203 |
| #8 | Dumps | 38% | 136 |
| #9 | Dull Pencilz | 35% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | untied shoe | 84 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | Default | 41 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | Stinjamín Franklin | 38 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | Regu | 36 | 0.0078 |
| #5 | Crooksy | 20 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | untied shoe | 3329 | 0.27 | 69 min |
| #2 | Default | 1100 | 0.14 | 30 min |
| #3 | Stinjamín Franklin | 580 | 0.08 | 14 min |
| #4 | Regu | 385 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #5 | Crooksy | 248 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stinjamín Franklin | +3.34 | 66 | 55 |
| #2 | untied shoe | +1.92 | 59 | 69 |
| #3 | Dumps | +1.29 | 39 | 57 |
| #4 | Default | +0.76 | 44 | 54 |
| #5 | Crooksy | +0.54 | 52 | 49 |





