








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 74 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2979 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,045 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2418 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2270 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1578 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1779 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $537,107 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 123 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stinjamín Franklin | 56% | 186 |
| #2 | untied shoe | 49% | 266 |
| #3 | Crooksy | 49% | 181 |
| #4 | Default | 48% | 143 |
| #5 | TheRealJigbat | 46% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Am6roz | 45% | 230 |
| #7 | JJ Frankie JJ | 43% | 42 |
| #8 | Dumps | 40% | 43 |
| #9 | dadacastle | 33% | 21 |
| #10 | Dull Pencilz | 31% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | untied shoe | 40 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | Stinjamín Franklin | 26 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | Default | 17 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | Crooksy | 14 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Am6roz | 13 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | untied shoe | 1364 | 0.26 | 26 min |
| #2 | Am6roz | 781 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #3 | Default | 373 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #4 | Stinjamín Franklin | 315 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #5 | Crooksy | 205 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stinjamín Franklin | +3.12 | 65 | 54 |
| #2 | Dumps | +2.29 | 40 | 47 |
| #3 | untied shoe | +1.72 | 62 | 68 |
| #4 | Default | +0.89 | 44 | 52 |
| #5 | Crooksy | +0.58 | 52 | 47 |





