








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 208 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
995 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,784 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1264 | 26% |
| Smokes | 1057 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1479 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 984 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $281,624 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 101 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shagga, son of Dolf | 61% | 33 |
| #2 | cowmonke | 51% | 69 |
| #3 | homecoming | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | fred chimken | 48% | 29 |
| #5 | Huub | 48% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cowmonke | 5 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Huub | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | Susanna Spector | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Shagga, son of Dolf | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | fred chimken | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cowmonke | 328 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #2 | Susanna Spector | 221 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | Shagga, son of Dolf | 173 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #4 | Huub | 100 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | fred chimken | 35 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Huub | +3.97 | 91 | 63 |
| #2 | fred chimken | +0.52 | 73 | 52 |
| #3 | cowmonke | +0.20 | 73 | 60 |
| #4 | x64storm | -0.06 | 56 | 67 |
| #5 | Shagga, son of Dolf | -0.92 | 77 | 70 |





