








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 679 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 249 matches | ||
| Faceit | 175 matches | ||
| Wingman | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6172 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,746 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1796 | 12% |
| Smokes | 5362 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 4141 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3447 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,569,746 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shagga, son of Dolf | 58% | 307 |
| #2 | homecoming | 56% | 235 |
| #3 | cowmonke | 54% | 349 |
| #4 | fred chimken | 54% | 65 |
| #5 | Susanna Spector | 53% | 371 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Susanna Spector | 9 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | cowmonke | 9 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Shagga, son of Dolf | 5 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | homecoming | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | x64storm | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shagga, son of Dolf | 1571 | 0.24 | 44 min |
| #2 | cowmonke | 1394 | 0.19 | 39 min |
| #3 | Susanna Spector | 1345 | 0.17 | 40 min |
| #4 | homecoming | 431 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #5 | x64storm | 219 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Huub | +3.29 | 89 | 54 |
| #2 | cowmonke | +1.12 | 74 | 62 |
| #3 | homecoming | +0.45 | 72 | 57 |
| #4 | fred chimken | -0.08 | 64 | 60 |
| #5 | x64storm | -0.37 | 57 | 66 |





