








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 240 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 161 matches | ||
| Faceit | 147 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3564 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,557 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4832 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2163 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 3611 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2951 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $899,640 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shagga, son of Dolf | 58% | 216 |
| #2 | homecoming | 56% | 178 |
| #3 | Huub | 54% | 349 |
| #4 | Susanna Spector | 52% | 262 |
| #5 | x64storm | 51% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Huub | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | Susanna Spector | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | Shagga, son of Dolf | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | homecoming | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | x64storm | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shagga, son of Dolf | 1051 | 0.23 | 29 min |
| #2 | Susanna Spector | 896 | 0.16 | 27 min |
| #3 | Huub | 324 | 0.04 | 9 min |
| #4 | homecoming | 323 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #5 | x64storm | 183 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Huub | +2.88 | 89 | 54 |
| #2 | cowmonke | +1.07 | 75 | 62 |
| #3 | fred chimken | +0.26 | 62 | 66 |
| #4 | homecoming | +0.16 | 72 | 56 |
| #5 | x64storm | -0.69 | 58 | 66 |





