








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 635 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 278 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 69 matches | ||
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6104 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,754 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4461 | 20% |
| Smokes | 6636 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5886 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5771 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,724,378 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 448 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mezzerN | 58% | 197 |
| #2 | Steelnex | 55% | 503 |
| #3 | Ulsrud | 55% | 372 |
| #4 | Mike | 53% | 661 |
| #5 | 가브리엘 | 52% | 407 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Ulsrud | 55% | 372 |
| #4 | Mike | 53% | 661 |
| #5 | 가브리엘 | 52% | 407 |
| #6 | Safiree | 48% | 64 |
| #7 | Joker | 45% | 184 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mike | 37 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | 가브리엘 | 23 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | Steelnex | 22 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Ulsrud | 15 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | mezzerN | 4 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mike | 1399 | 0.10 | 34 min |
| #2 | 가브리엘 | 1290 | 0.15 | 43 min |
| #3 | Steelnex | 990 | 0.10 | 26 min |
| #4 | Ulsrud | 446 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #5 | mezzerN | 213 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steelnex | +3.97 | 74 | 60 |
| #2 | Ulsrud | +2.59 | 81 | 50 |
| #3 | 가브리엘 | +2.01 | 72 | 65 |
| #4 | Safiree | -0.28 | 65 | 65 |
| #5 | r1as | -0.81 | 59 | 60 |





