








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 421 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 129 matches | ||
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 45 matches | ||
| Faceit | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6012 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,450 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3532 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4495 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2690 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 4733 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,429,763 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 110 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mezzerN | 61% | 117 |
| #2 | 가브리엘 | 59% | 141 |
| #3 | Ulsrud | 58% | 273 |
| #4 | Mike | 57% | 406 |
| #5 | r1as | 55% | 503 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 가브리엘 | 59% | 141 |
| #3 | Ulsrud | 58% | 273 |
| #4 | Mike | 57% | 406 |
| #5 | r1as | 55% | 503 |
| #6 | Joker | 47% | 146 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mike | 29 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | r1as | 19 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Ulsrud | 14 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | 가브리엘 | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Joker | 4 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mike | 784 | 0.09 | 19 min |
| #2 | r1as | 748 | 0.07 | 19 min |
| #3 | 가브리엘 | 570 | 0.19 | 20 min |
| #4 | Ulsrud | 307 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #5 | mezzerN | 131 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steelnex | +4.01 | 74 | 61 |
| #2 | Ulsrud | +2.19 | 80 | 49 |
| #3 | 가브리엘 | +1.92 | 71 | 67 |
| #4 | mezzerN | -0.74 | 68 | 57 |
| #5 | r1as | -0.98 | 59 | 60 |





