








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 24 matches | ||
| Premier | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1360 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,444 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 612 | 18% |
| Smokes | 945 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 981 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 906 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $694,060 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ulsrud | 53% | 77 |
| #2 | Mike | 51% | 136 |
| #3 | Steelnex | 47% | 146 |
| #4 | r1as | 45% | 184 |
| #5 | mezzerN | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Mike | 51% | 136 |
| #3 | Steelnex | 47% | 146 |
| #4 | r1as | 45% | 184 |
| #5 | mezzerN | 42% | 26 |
| #6 | 가브리엘 | 40% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | r1as | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Ulsrud | 6 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Mike | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Steelnex | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | 가브리엘 | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steelnex | 254 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #2 | Mike | 234 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | r1as | 231 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | 가브리엘 | 141 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #5 | Ulsrud | 78 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steelnex | +3.98 | 76 | 57 |
| #2 | 가브리엘 | +2.33 | 75 | 63 |
| #3 | Ulsrud | +2.28 | 82 | 48 |
| #4 | r1as | -0.70 | 59 | 56 |
| #5 | mezzerN | -1.02 | 65 | 48 |





