








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 576 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 40 matches | ||
| Esplay | 36 matches | 2,130 | |
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4478 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,192 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1734 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1658 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3171 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 1629 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,892,631 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 357 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Mike | 56% | 288 |
| #5 | r1as | 55% | 372 |
| #6 | 가브리엘 | 54% | 129 |
| #7 | Joker | 53% | 77 |
| #8 | Safiree | 50% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mike | 19 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | r1as | 16 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Steelnex | 16 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | 가브리엘 | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Joker | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mike | 539 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #2 | r1as | 483 | 0.06 | 12 min |
| #3 | Steelnex | 482 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #4 | 가브리엘 | 423 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #5 | Safiree | 72 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steelnex | +3.81 | 75 | 59 |
| #2 | Ulsrud | +2.49 | 81 | 51 |
| #3 | 가브리엘 | +1.19 | 74 | 67 |
| #4 | Safiree | +0.68 | 71 | 64 |
| #5 | Joker | -0.88 | 46 | 46 |





