








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 600 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 165 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




81 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4857 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,115 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4235 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4195 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2246 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 4439 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,486,576 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1001 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoJo | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | alexsntsv | 52% | 104 |
| #3 | mump | 51% | 55 |
| #4 | stickytip42 | 47% | 32 |
| #5 | duWap | 47% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | duWap | 188 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #2 | alexsntsv | 146 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | Nightstryker8 | 70 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | mump | 65 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | tha chubbsta | 59 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoJo | +5.08 | 73 | 51 |
| #2 | Nightstryker8 | +2.96 | 67 | 72 |
| #3 | cotovelo | +1.24 | 66 | 62 |
| #4 | mikey- | +0.39 | 82 | 47 |
| #5 | stickytip42 | +0.03 | 25 | 36 |





