








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1194 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 324 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 261 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




88 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8797 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,870 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7493 | 42% |
| Smokes | 2476 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 4707 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3194 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,825,552 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 535 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | denial off the galaxy gas | 50% | 255 |
| #2 | Ghostie-Kun | 48% | 60 |
| #3 | Geiziger off the Wienerschnitzel | 47% | 59 |
| #4 | tha chubbsta | 47% | 172 |
| #5 | wgns | 47% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tha chubbsta | 65 | 0.0199 |
| #2 | denial off the galaxy gas | 39 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | Ghostie-Kun | 21 | 0.0176 |
| #4 | Geiziger off the Wienerschnitzel | 20 | 0.0173 |
| #5 | ToriiiFTP ♡ | 9 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | denial off the galaxy gas | 564 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #2 | tha chubbsta | 197 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Manpoints69 | 141 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | mump | 131 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | ToriiiFTP ♡ | 105 | 0.04 | 2 min |





