








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3075 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,126 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3488 | 57% |
| Smokes | 1315 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 694 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 629 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $22,478 of utility $4 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jiiko | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | ๖ۣۜℜaiτ.#✨ | 63% | 24 |
| #3 | PhO.onix | 54% | 69 |
| #4 | .iS tHaT FoHrReLlE !? | 53% | 159 |
| #5 | Infinite Mage Lano | 49% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zitro | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | .iS tHaT FoHrReLlE !? | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Infinite Mage Lano | 4 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | PhO.onix | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | ๖ۣۜℜaiτ.#✨ | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zitro | 301 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | .iS tHaT FoHrReLlE !? | 210 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | PhO.onix | 92 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | ☠ Rockgoehre ☠ ♥ | 56 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | ๖ۣۜℜaiτ.#✨ | 31 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .iS tHaT FoHrReLlE !? | +4.88 | 98 | 58 |
| #2 | Jiiko | +1.18 | 79 | 63 |
| #3 | Infinite Mage Lano | +0.37 | 66 | 30 |
| #4 | hDr | -0.07 | 82 | 55 |
| #5 | Zitro | -0.51 | 83 | 66 |





