










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 960 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 265 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 51 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




69 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3674 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,790 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3555 | 19% |
| Smokes | 5367 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5552 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4316 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,343,512 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 276 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | UnterrDe | 45% | 313 |
| #7 | wait вiт?! | 44% | 248 |
| #8 | goddamnduck | 44% | 48 |
| #9 | why|me | 43% | 67 |
| #10 | stariy bob zaza | 43% | 168 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gaymorit | 16 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | stariy bob zaza | 11 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Young Choppa | 11 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | мчт под нзт | 10 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | UnterrDe | 9 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gaymorit | 740 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #2 | UnterrDe | 521 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| #3 | ✝ScripT✝ | 258 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | wait вiт?! | 257 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #5 | Young Choppa | 249 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Young Choppa | +6.43 | 89 | 76 |
| #2 | ✝ScripT✝ | +6.10 | 87 | 54 |
| #3 | goddamnduck | +3.28 | 80 | 61 |
| #4 | why|me | +2.68 | 80 | 40 |
| #5 | мчт под нзт | +1.17 | 71 | 36 |





