








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 296 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 122 matches | ||
| Wingman | 47 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2480 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,812 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 985 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2060 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1104 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1663 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,225,718 of utility $216 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | * Fresh | 68% | 25 |
| #2 | SeagullChokingOnAHotDog | 67% | 30 |
| #3 | Lance | 62% | 21 |
| #4 | ry^_^ | 60% | 20 |
| #5 | twinkle | 59% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | $ulfuric | 48% | 21 |
| #13 | djtl | 48% | 42 |
| #14 | Krelfoy | 44% | 32 |
| #15 | cool guy | 36% | 22 |
| #16 | Noble | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jizzy | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Lax | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | * Fresh | 3 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | twinkle | 3 | 0.0094 |
| #5 | Krelfoy | 2 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | drFURY | 321 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #2 | djtl | 213 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #3 | Lax | 160 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | SeagullChokingOnAHotDog | 111 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| #5 | jizzy | 88 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dizzy | +1.32 | 75 | 50 |
| #2 | IronChad | +1.02 | 50 | 63 |
| #3 | $ulfuric | +1.01 | 77 | 57 |
| #4 | djtl | +0.70 | 71 | 66 |
| #5 | Lax | +0.67 | 74 | 59 |





