








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 740 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 171 matches | ||
| Premier | 119 matches | ||
| Wingman | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 53 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5210 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,856 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5267 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4506 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5060 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5023 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,356,865 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 606 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JonnE | 62% | 29 |
| #2 | wa1zted | 61% | 176 |
| #3 | b1 | 58% | 108 |
| #4 | Asta | 58% | 142 |
| #5 | Kr1se | 56% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shrooms | 496 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #2 | wa1zted | 483 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #3 | Asta | 306 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #4 | b1 | 275 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | JonnE | 207 | 0.35 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h3nr1kko | +3.19 | 79 | 71 |
| #2 | wa1zted | +1.33 | 81 | 59 |
| #3 | b1 | +0.73 | 88 | 57 |
| #4 | JonnE | +0.33 | 58 | 62 |
| #5 | Nuffe | +0.21 | 63 | 61 |





