








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 449 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 244 matches | ||
| Premier | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3946 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,670 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3996 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1984 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1469 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 3221 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,087,072 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 221 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sk0gstad | 69% | 54 |
| #2 | JonnE | 68% | 41 |
| #3 | h3nr1kko | 61% | 176 |
| #4 | b1 | 61% | 97 |
| #5 | Asta | 61% | 157 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ✪TriKx | 59% | 59 |
| #7 | Kr1se | 58% | 92 |
| #8 | ✞Brenna✞ | 57% | 49 |
| #9 | Nuffe | 56% | 27 |
| #10 | Omuhlette | 53% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Asta | 11 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | h3nr1kko | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | JonnE | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | b1 | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | ✞Brenna✞ | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h3nr1kko | 449 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #2 | Asta | 336 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | JonnE | 312 | 0.37 | 10 min |
| #4 | b1 | 258 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | Kr1se | 239 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪TriKx | +2.41 | 91 | 61 |
| #2 | h3nr1kko | +1.82 | 77 | 75 |
| #3 | wa1zted | +1.21 | 81 | 59 |
| #4 | b1 | +0.53 | 87 | 58 |
| #5 | Omuhlette | +0.23 | 80 | 58 |





