








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 256 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 189 matches | ||
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3079 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,136 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2110 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3203 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 973 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1850 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,109,277 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Barusugo | 68% | 40 |
| #2 | JonnE | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | sk0gstad | 62% | 34 |
| #4 | wa1zted | 61% | 157 |
| #5 | b1 | 59% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wa1zted | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | h3nr1kko | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Omuhlette | 3 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | b1 | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Nuffe | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wa1zted | 431 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | h3nr1kko | 371 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | b1 | 320 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #4 | Kr1se | 199 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | hadnn | 163 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Omuhlette | +2.65 | 84 | 60 |
| #2 | ✪TriKx | +2.57 | 91 | 57 |
| #3 | hadnn | +1.70 | 83 | 55 |
| #4 | h3nr1kko | +1.58 | 78 | 71 |
| #5 | JonnE | +1.15 | 58 | 62 |





