








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 799 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 93 matches | 1,979 | |
| Faceit | 58 matches | ||
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2584 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,058 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 631 | 16% |
| Smokes | 655 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 1357 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1415 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,374,481 of utility $262 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 211 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wa1zted | 69% | 54 |
| #2 | ✪TriKx | 64% | 45 |
| #3 | h3nr1kko | 63% | 19 |
| #4 | Asta | 62% | 34 |
| #5 | huncho | 54% | 150 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | rino | 54% | 28 |
| #8 | Moe Lester | 50% | 26 |
| #9 | Mister Sister Twister | 46% | 24 |
| #10 | Kevlar | 44% | 25 |
| #11 | hans | 40% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wa1zted | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Moe Lester | 4 | 0.0073 |
| #3 | huncho | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Asta | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | rino | 2 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | huncho | 244 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #2 | rino | 162 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #3 | ✪TriKx | 149 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | wa1zted | 138 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Kevlar | 66 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Moe Lester | +3.39 | 71 | 30 |
| #2 | ✪TriKx | +2.91 | 91 | 60 |
| #3 | rino | +1.59 | 82 | 63 |
| #4 | h3nr1kko | +0.94 | 73 | 67 |
| #5 | wa1zted | +0.83 | 80 | 61 |





