








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1414 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 472 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6463 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,814 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6876 | 27% |
| Smokes | 8002 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 5434 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5502 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,670,464 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 860 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cyber94 | 59% | 49 |
| #2 | hELLL | 52% | 186 |
| #3 | FsK[e] | 51% | 150 |
| #4 | phugoth | 50% | 321 |
| #5 | cKR[e] | 50% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Trashcan | 45% | 154 |
| #10 | FINALBOSS | 45% | 69 |
| #11 | Two Wine Glass In | 43% | 102 |
| #12 | eCo | 42% | 66 |
| #13 | gauths | 36% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hELLL | 13 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | cKR[e] | 12 | 0.0053 |
| #3 | FsK[e] | 9 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | phugoth | 8 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Two Wine Glass In | 8 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | phugoth | 660 | 0.09 | 18 min |
| #2 | hELLL | 624 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| #3 | Two Wine Glass In | 370 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #4 | Trashcan | 313 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #5 | ✪ Kevin2k | 295 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oc | +2.29 | 80 | 73 |
| #2 | FINALBOSS | +0.72 | 61 | 46 |
| #3 | FsK[e] | +0.33 | 73 | 61 |
| #4 | cKR[e] | +0.25 | 51 | 75 |
| #5 | Two Wine Glass In | -0.03 | 71 | 62 |





