








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1357 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 979 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 68 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10565 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,319 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5483 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5585 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5056 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3195 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,238,993 of utility $234 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1555 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | oc | 45% | 154 |
| #7 | ChikN | 45% | 65 |
| #8 | FINALBOSS | 45% | 260 |
| #9 | cKR[e] | 44% | 82 |
| #10 | Two Wine Glass In | 40% | 149 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FINALBOSS | 10 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | phugoth | 8 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | oc | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Two Wine Glass In | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | hELLL | 7 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oc | 566 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #2 | Two Wine Glass In | 543 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #3 | phugoth | 426 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #4 | hELLL | 402 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #5 | FINALBOSS | 276 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oc | +2.36 | 79 | 71 |
| #2 | FINALBOSS | +1.21 | 61 | 44 |
| #3 | FsK[e] | +1.18 | 75 | 59 |
| #4 | cKR[e] | +0.68 | 53 | 73 |
| #5 | Two Wine Glass In | +0.50 | 72 | 62 |





