








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 534 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 245 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3550 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,233 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1380 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2478 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2074 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1301 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,783,274 of utility $256 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Two Wine Glass In | 58% | 26 |
| #2 | oc | 51% | 150 |
| #3 | Cyber94 | 51% | 41 |
| #4 | gauths | 50% | 20 |
| #5 | phugoth | 49% | 225 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Emerica[e] | 44% | 50 |
| #11 | FINALBOSS | 43% | 23 |
| #12 | cKR[e] | 41% | 71 |
| #13 | eCo | 36% | 36 |
| #14 | Sit on it | 24% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hELLL | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | phugoth | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | oc | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Trashcan | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Cyber94 | 4 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oc | 446 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #2 | phugoth | 437 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #3 | hELLL | 313 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #4 | Trashcan | 220 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | cKR[e] | 200 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oc | +2.17 | 82 | 74 |
| #2 | gauths | +1.37 | 75 | 62 |
| #3 | FINALBOSS | +1.37 | 64 | 48 |
| #4 | Two Wine Glass In | +0.81 | 67 | 64 |
| #5 | FsK[e] | +0.68 | 75 | 59 |





