








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1106 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 666 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 166 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6225 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,447 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7298 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6804 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 7434 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5911 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,575,569 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 347 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cyber94 | 53% | 128 |
| #2 | ✪ Kevin2k | 50% | 237 |
| #3 | oc | 50% | 321 |
| #4 | hELLL | 50% | 134 |
| #5 | FsK[e] | 49% | 225 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | cKR[e] | 46% | 82 |
| #10 | gauths | 45% | 64 |
| #11 | eCo | 44% | 43 |
| #12 | FINALBOSS | 44% | 64 |
| #13 | Two Wine Glass In | 42% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oc | 1123 | 0.16 | 29 min |
| #2 | hELLL | 444 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #3 | Trashcan | 379 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #4 | ✪ Kevin2k | 341 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #5 | Two Wine Glass In | 262 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oc | +2.62 | 79 | 73 |
| #2 | gauths | +1.73 | 75 | 56 |
| #3 | FINALBOSS | +1.46 | 66 | 42 |
| #4 | FsK[e] | +0.85 | 76 | 59 |
| #5 | Two Wine Glass In | +0.76 | 72 | 60 |





