








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 268 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 285 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2793 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,657 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2236 | 14% |
| Smokes | 5268 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 4309 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3844 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,413,759 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 76 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trashcan | 53% | 53 |
| #2 | Cyber94 | 53% | 78 |
| #3 | hELLL | 51% | 53 |
| #4 | phugoth | 50% | 237 |
| #5 | Two Wine Glass In | 50% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | oc | 48% | 187 |
| #9 | gauths | 47% | 38 |
| #10 | FsK[e] | 47% | 131 |
| #11 | eCo | 43% | 54 |
| #12 | cKR[e] | 41% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cKR[e] | 7 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | oc | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | phugoth | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | FsK[e] | 5 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | gauths | 5 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oc | 647 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #2 | phugoth | 484 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #3 | hELLL | 174 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | cKR[e] | 171 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #5 | eCo | 148 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oc | +3.24 | 80 | 73 |
| #2 | gauths | +1.67 | 72 | 53 |
| #3 | Two Wine Glass In | +1.63 | 62 | 59 |
| #4 | FsK[e] | +0.87 | 77 | 57 |
| #5 | Emerica[e] | +0.36 | 65 | 62 |





