








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 197 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1942 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,785 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1879 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1667 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2114 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1125 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $748,455 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 108 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Trashcan | 44% | 82 |
| #7 | FINALBOSS | 43% | 53 |
| #8 | ✪ Kevin2k | 41% | 58 |
| #9 | FsK[e] | 41% | 71 |
| #10 | eCo | 18% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oc | 9 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | hELLL | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | FsK[e] | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Trashcan | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | ✪ Kevin2k | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oc | 334 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #2 | hELLL | 225 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | Trashcan | 190 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | phugoth | 148 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | ✪ Kevin2k | 78 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oc | +2.63 | 82 | 74 |
| #2 | Emerica[e] | +0.83 | 64 | 63 |
| #3 | cKR[e] | +0.43 | 53 | 73 |
| #4 | FINALBOSS | +0.15 | 59 | 43 |
| #5 | FsK[e] | -0.28 | 71 | 56 |





