








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 160 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1814 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,418 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1589 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1696 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1297 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1836 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $440,502 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keturboy | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | aykin | 62% | 26 |
| #3 | pour me another | 57% | 94 |
| #4 | Kyo | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | LastSamurai- | 55% | 128 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LastSamurai- | 13 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | pour me another | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | aykin | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Lagijar | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LukasL | 314 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #2 | LastSamurai- | 310 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #3 | pour me another | 268 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | Punished Ape | 97 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #5 | Waifu | 89 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LastSamurai- | +2.55 | 84 | 70 |
| #2 | LukasL | +1.09 | 70 | 64 |
| #3 | pour me another | +0.99 | 61 | 71 |
| #4 | Guigs | +0.68 | 81 | 64 |
| #5 | Keturboy | -0.46 | 76 | 49 |





