










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1465 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 836 matches | ||
| Faceit | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 124 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10659 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 48,365 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12722 | 26% |
| Smokes | 10939 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 14047 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 10657 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,082,866 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 542 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | ev0_ | 63% | 99 |
| #14 | Chicken | 60% | 72 |
| #15 | k4yz | 58% | 69 |
| #16 | Popsicc (Popsicc) | 53% | 70 |
| #17 | ZigZee | 49% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BROSEIDON | 13 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | flea | 9 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Lean_ | 8 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | west side bowling | 5 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Sickwhitit26 | 5 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | west side bowling | 1053 | 0.12 | 28 min |
| #2 | Lean_ | 986 | 0.14 | 23 min |
| #3 | zA | 601 | 0.21 | 16 min |
| #4 | BluFF | 556 | 0.18 | 17 min |
| #5 | BROSEIDON | 520 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bernard♛ | +2.25 | 85 | 73 |
| #2 | zA | +1.98 | 76 | 71 |
| #3 | flea | +1.67 | 73 | 56 |
| #4 | Chicken | +1.56 | 79 | 64 |
| #5 | BluFF | +1.55 | 77 | 77 |





