








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2054 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1012 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 131 matches | ||
| Faceit | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 151 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
17520 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 63,423 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 19635 | 31% |
| Smokes | 19100 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 12140 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 12548 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,087,678 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 861 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kiwi | 83% | 103 |
| #2 | furrypotter | 73% | 226 |
| #3 | west side bowling | 73% | 112 |
| #4 | Lean_ | 72% | 87 |
| #5 | ✪ Mrtwofeet | 72% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | precog` | 59% | 603 |
| #12 | Hood | 58% | 409 |
| #13 | killsoft | 55% | 139 |
| #14 | xn | 55% | 89 |
| #15 | syntr1p | 49% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Real | 43 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | precog` | 19 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Hood | 14 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Bernardâ™› | 8 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | furrypotter | 6 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Real | 4194 | 0.26 | 94 min |
| #2 | precog` | 2520 | 0.20 | 64 min |
| #3 | Hood | 992 | 0.12 | 22 min |
| #4 | Pod | 667 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #5 | Bernardâ™› | 500 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bernardâ™› | +2.29 | 86 | 72 |
| #2 | BluFF | +2.08 | 78 | 76 |
| #3 | Kiwi | +1.73 | 86 | 58 |
| #4 | xxyzz/A/ | +1.22 | 64 | 70 |
| #5 | ✪ Mrtwofeet | +1.13 | 82 | 65 |





