








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2304 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1361 matches | ||
| Faceit | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 133 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
15981 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 64,269 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 16525 | 26% |
| Smokes | 12051 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 18580 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 17113 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,226,347 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4779 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BluFF | 72% | 87 |
| #2 | r00[sz] | 71% | 78 |
| #3 | zA | 68% | 351 |
| #4 | Bernardâ™› | 68% | 321 |
| #5 | SKT Neoff | 63% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | SKT Neoff | 63% | 106 |
| #6 | Cadet | 63% | 78 |
| #7 | west side bowling | 62% | 1477 |
| #8 | k4yz | 61% | 384 |
| #9 | Garrison | 55% | 148 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | west side bowling | 30 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | k4yz | 16 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Bernardâ™› | 10 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | zA | 7 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | r00[sz] | 4 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | west side bowling | 4064 | 0.13 | 108 min |
| #2 | zA | 1611 | 0.22 | 43 min |
| #3 | Bernardâ™› | 992 | 0.15 | 27 min |
| #4 | k4yz | 658 | 0.08 | 15 min |
| #5 | BluFF | 312 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bernardâ™› | +2.19 | 85 | 73 |
| #2 | zA | +2.11 | 79 | 68 |
| #3 | Lean_ | +1.52 | 73 | 66 |
| #4 | k4yz | +1.01 | 80 | 53 |
| #5 | BluFF | +1.00 | 74 | 75 |





