








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 960 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 442 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 50 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5649 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,831 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7754 | 30% |
| Smokes | 6218 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 6648 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5211 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $797,458 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 579 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mjc | 84% | 38 |
| #2 | Bernardâ™› | 75% | 143 |
| #3 | ako | 72% | 32 |
| #4 | BROSEIDON | 70% | 40 |
| #5 | Sev | 69% | 132 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | [B]ennyS | 65% | 91 |
| #10 | flea | 63% | 40 |
| #11 | Snow Quack | 61% | 49 |
| #12 | Z$ | 61% | 59 |
| #13 | k4yz | 59% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lean_ | 9 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Sev | 9 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | [B]ennyS | 8 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | west side bowling | 7 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | fowl | 6 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lean_ | 1071 | 0.15 | 27 min |
| #2 | west side bowling | 976 | 0.12 | 27 min |
| #3 | Sev | 679 | 0.27 | 19 min |
| #4 | Bernardâ™› | 427 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #5 | [B]ennyS | 208 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mjc | +3.15 | 89 | 60 |
| #2 | Sev | +2.50 | 84 | 72 |
| #3 | Bernardâ™› | +2.17 | 85 | 72 |
| #4 | zA | +1.89 | 80 | 67 |
| #5 | flea | +1.73 | 72 | 60 |





