








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 488 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 244 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 156 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




95 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8994 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,739 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3951 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1730 | 10% |
| HE Grenades | 6291 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 4767 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,002,578 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 326 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jan. | 56% | 212 |
| #2 | EvO#1 | 54% | 54 |
| #3 | ☠ Rockgoehre ☠ ♥ | 52% | 63 |
| #4 | .iS tHaT FoHrReLlE !? | 52% | 202 |
| #5 | Zitro | 51% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | .iS tHaT FoHrReLlE !? | 52% | 202 |
| #5 | Zitro | 51% | 43 |
| #6 | #PatGum | 51% | 470 |
| #7 | 𝑀𝟶𝑤𝑙 | 48% | 46 |
| #8 | ๖ۣۜℜaiτ.#✨ | 42% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | #PatGum | 53 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | Jan. | 30 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | .iS tHaT FoHrReLlE !? | 27 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | Zitro | 12 | 0.0142 |
| #5 | 𝑀𝟶𝑤𝑙 | 6 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jan. | 671 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #2 | #PatGum | 574 | 0.06 | 11 min |
| #3 | .iS tHaT FoHrReLlE !? | 251 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | ๖ۣۜℜaiτ.#✨ | 158 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Zitro | 135 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .iS tHaT FoHrReLlE !? | +4.31 | 98 | 57 |
| #2 | Sw1sh | +1.94 | 85 | 55 |
| #3 | Zitro | +1.17 | 84 | 58 |
| #4 | #PatGum | +0.97 | 73 | 57 |
| #5 | EvO#1 | -0.01 | 68 | 47 |





