








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 323 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 171 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




67 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4120 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,466 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5110 | 45% |
| Smokes | 1468 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 2155 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2733 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,255,829 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 478 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ππΆπ€π | 57% | 30 |
| #2 | Sw1sh | 56% | 212 |
| #3 | #PatGum | 54% | 245 |
| #4 | EvO#1 | 46% | 105 |
| #5 | .iS tHaT FoHrReLlE !? | 45% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | #PatGum | 35 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | Sw1sh | 28 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | .iS tHaT FoHrReLlE !? | 5 | 0.0064 |
| #4 | EvO#1 | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | ππΆπ€π | 4 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | #PatGum | 285 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #2 | Sw1sh | 214 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #3 | EvO#1 | 136 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | .iS tHaT FoHrReLlE !? | 58 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | ππΆπ€π | 47 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .iS tHaT FoHrReLlE !? | +3.22 | 98 | 57 |
| #2 | Sw1sh | +2.13 | 83 | 54 |
| #3 | #PatGum | +0.95 | 73 | 57 |
| #4 | ππΆπ€π | +0.85 | 66 | 53 |
| #5 | EvO#1 | +0.61 | 73 | 51 |





