








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 76 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 69 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
851 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,882 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 482 | 17% |
| Smokes | 729 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 669 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1002 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $484,013 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1509 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yoseph Yo Gurtman | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | bernie | 60% | 60 |
| #3 | papercut01 | 57% | 7 |
| #4 | jared | 57% | 44 |
| #5 | Promoter of Tamjai Mixian | 54% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Promoter of Tamjai Mixian | 54% | 91 |
| #6 | fevve | 49% | 65 |
| #7 | jose.gonzalez.2007 | 44% | 41 |
| #8 | humz2k | 40% | 10 |
| #9 | ynneL | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bernie | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | humz2k | 3 | 0.0152 |
| #3 | Promoter of Tamjai Mixian | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Promoter of Tamjai Mixian | 324 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #2 | jose.gonzalez.2007 | 239 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #3 | bernie | 222 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | fevve | 162 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | jared | 68 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | papercut01 | +3.09 | 87 | 54 |
| #2 | Yoseph Yo Gurtman | +1.12 | 81 | 59 |
| #3 | jared | +0.59 | 58 | 67 |
| #4 | Promoter of Tamjai Mixian | +0.48 | 74 | 71 |
| #5 | bernie | +0.04 | 88 | 56 |





