








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 492 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 243 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2996 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,524 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2910 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1800 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2870 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1944 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,221,384 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 266 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WondurKat | 60% | 60 |
| #2 | fevve | 57% | 107 |
| #3 | jared | 56% | 96 |
| #4 | Yoseph Yo Gurtman | 54% | 41 |
| #5 | Promoter of Tamjai Mixian | 52% | 209 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | jared | 56% | 96 |
| #4 | Yoseph Yo Gurtman | 54% | 41 |
| #5 | Promoter of Tamjai Mixian | 52% | 209 |
| #6 | papercut01 | 50% | 36 |
| #7 | jose.gonzalez.2007 | 48% | 149 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Promoter of Tamjai Mixian | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #2 | jose.gonzalez.2007 | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | fevve | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | jared | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Promoter of Tamjai Mixian | 557 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #2 | jose.gonzalez.2007 | 425 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #3 | fevve | 209 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | Yoseph Yo Gurtman | 139 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #5 | jared | 94 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | papercut01 | +2.34 | 89 | 62 |
| #2 | Promoter of Tamjai Mixian | +0.69 | 75 | 71 |
| #3 | Yoseph Yo Gurtman | +0.07 | 70 | 62 |
| #4 | jared | -0.01 | 60 | 62 |
| #5 | bernie | -0.14 | 87 | 54 |





