








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 99 matches | ||
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2474 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,119 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2820 | 40% |
| Smokes | 1670 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1355 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1274 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $729,695 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 280 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fevve | 61% | 44 |
| #2 | jared | 59% | 82 |
| #3 | jose.gonzalez.2007 | 54% | 142 |
| #4 | bernie | 54% | 41 |
| #5 | Promoter of Tamjai Mixian | 50% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fishslasher | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | jose.gonzalez.2007 | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | bernie | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | fevve | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jose.gonzalez.2007 | 654 | 0.22 | 19 min |
| #2 | Promoter of Tamjai Mixian | 243 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | Fishslasher | 196 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | papercut01 | 166 | 0.29 | 4 min |
| #5 | fevve | 119 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | papercut01 | +1.79 | 86 | 72 |
| #2 | Yoseph Yo Gurtman | +1.05 | 78 | 63 |
| #3 | bernie | +0.43 | 88 | 58 |
| #4 | jared | +0.43 | 64 | 61 |
| #5 | Promoter of Tamjai Mixian | +0.36 | 73 | 70 |





