








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 207 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 141 matches | ||
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3538 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,169 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2018 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2566 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1934 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2651 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,546,022 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yoseph Yo Gurtman | 59% | 82 |
| #2 | papercut01 | 57% | 54 |
| #3 | WondurKat | 57% | 44 |
| #4 | bernie | 56% | 96 |
| #5 | fevve | 56% | 116 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | jake | 53% | 124 |
| #10 | north sulawesi | 53% | 127 |
| #11 | ynneL | 50% | 22 |
| #12 | jose.gonzalez.2007 | 50% | 128 |
| #13 | ryan (saved by Christ) | 49% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ٴ | 12 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | jake | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | bernie | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | north sulawesi | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | fevve | 3 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jose.gonzalez.2007 | 604 | 0.22 | 17 min |
| #2 | Promoter of Tamjai Mixian | 522 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #3 | north sulawesi | 389 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #4 | jake | 328 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #5 | Yoseph Yo Gurtman | 298 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | papercut01 | +2.72 | 90 | 64 |
| #2 | diego | +1.72 | 89 | 50 |
| #3 | jared | +1.41 | 63 | 63 |
| #4 | Promoter of Tamjai Mixian | +0.58 | 78 | 68 |
| #5 | ryan (saved by Christ) | +0.25 | 72 | 45 |





