








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 50 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1161 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,469 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2019 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1913 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1259 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 278 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $371,791 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | walle | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | zxc. | 54% | 37 |
| #3 | kaatorii | 48% | 21 |
| #4 | doot | 46% | 57 |
| #5 | doot | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Minakami Yuki | 42% | 62 |
| #8 | frame6476™ | 40% | 50 |
| #9 | masterbait | 39% | 23 |
| #10 | Kayoko | 38% | 40 |
| #11 | Rikuhachima Aru | 37% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frame6476™ | 4 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | doot | 4 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | zxc. | 3 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Minakami Yuki | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Rikuhachima Aru | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doot | 239 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #2 | Rikuhachima Aru | 197 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | Minakami Yuki | 190 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #4 | frame6476™ | 180 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | zxc. | 113 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | walle | +5.96 | 75 | 50 |
| #2 | zxc. | +5.79 | 73 | 51 |
| #3 | doot | +5.30 | 71 | 60 |
| #4 | doot | +4.97 | 70 | 57 |
| #5 | Dr. Box | +2.47 | 69 | 50 |





