








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 222 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 142 matches | ||
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3220 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,235 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3295 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2361 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2720 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1859 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $731,308 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 126 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ๖ۣۜRεDż ⃟⃝ | 62% | 79 |
| #2 | -JeF- | 56% | 18 |
| #3 | G0ATS™ | 54% | 35 |
| #4 | 2geNtle | 54% | 149 |
| #5 | CapTain_eChaN | 53% | 170 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Menewa | 51% | 196 |
| #7 | R4GiNGPotato | 51% | 181 |
| #8 | t0mass | 50% | 30 |
| #9 | Mr. Not Nice | 44% | 32 |
| #10 | ezrekt♿ | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CapTain_eChaN | 11 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | R4GiNGPotato | 9 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | ๖ۣۜRεDż ⃟⃝ | 7 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | 2geNtle | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Menewa | 3 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Menewa | 948 | 0.23 | 28 min |
| #2 | R4GiNGPotato | 655 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #3 | 2geNtle | 522 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #4 | CapTain_eChaN | 373 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #5 | ๖ۣۜRεDż ⃟⃝ | 304 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Menewa | +1.79 | 69 | 74 |
| #2 | jz0rs | +0.58 | 72 | 72 |
| #3 | CapTain_eChaN | +0.20 | 67 | 64 |
| #4 | Mr. Not Nice | +0.18 | 50 | 69 |
| #5 | R4GiNGPotato | +0.08 | 68 | 65 |





