








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 542 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 298 matches | ||
| Faceit | 87 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4210 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,774 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6025 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4871 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3032 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 4846 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,442,706 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 96 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -JeF- | 64% | 25 |
| #2 | asylumdoctor | 61% | 41 |
| #3 | Mr. Not Nice | 54% | 52 |
| #4 | NoobAWPER(No MIC) | 52% | 23 |
| #5 | ๖ۣۜRεDż ⃟⃝ | 51% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | R4GiNGPotato | 50% | 216 |
| #9 | CapTain_eChaN | 50% | 218 |
| #10 | 2geNtle | 50% | 185 |
| #11 | t0mass | 49% | 45 |
| #12 | ezrekt♿ | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CapTain_eChaN | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | R4GiNGPotato | 9 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | asylumdoctor | 9 | 0.0101 |
| #4 | jz0rs | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | ezrekt♿ | 4 | 0.0082 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R4GiNGPotato | 808 | 0.17 | 19 min |
| #2 | jz0rs | 683 | 0.17 | 19 min |
| #3 | 2geNtle | 658 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| #4 | CapTain_eChaN | 450 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #5 | ๖ۣۜRεDż ⃟⃝ | 309 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Menewa | +1.61 | 69 | 74 |
| #2 | jz0rs | +0.48 | 72 | 72 |
| #3 | R4GiNGPotato | +0.36 | 67 | 66 |
| #4 | asylumdoctor | +0.22 | 76 | 70 |
| #5 | Mr. Not Nice | +0.15 | 53 | 70 |





