








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 202 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1874 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,613 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2516 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2401 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1842 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1854 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $331,785 of utility $74 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jz0rs | 62% | 79 |
| #2 | moistedbryan | 62% | 13 |
| #3 | G0ATS™ | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | Menewa | 51% | 76 |
| #5 | 2geNtle | 51% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | CapTain_eChaN | 50% | 104 |
| #7 | R4GiNGPotato | 49% | 110 |
| #8 | Triggered | 37% | 59 |
| #9 | Mr. Not Nice | 36% | 36 |
| #10 | t0mass | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CapTain_eChaN | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | R4GiNGPotato | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | jz0rs | 5 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | 2geNtle | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Triggered | 4 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R4GiNGPotato | 449 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #2 | Menewa | 392 | 0.24 | 12 min |
| #3 | 2geNtle | 385 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #4 | jz0rs | 293 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #5 | CapTain_eChaN | 266 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Menewa | +1.17 | 70 | 77 |
| #2 | R4GiNGPotato | +0.81 | 70 | 63 |
| #3 | G0ATS™ | +0.80 | 64 | 62 |
| #4 | ๖ۣۜRεDż ⃟⃝ | +0.67 | 69 | 68 |
| #5 | jz0rs | +0.41 | 69 | 72 |





