








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 214 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 88 matches | ||
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2294 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,567 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2051 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2006 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1633 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1877 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $865,499 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 107 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CapTain_eChaN | 59% | 58 |
| #2 | ๖ۣۜRεDż ⃟⃝ | 57% | 23 |
| #3 | jz0rs | 54% | 35 |
| #4 | 2geNtle | 53% | 51 |
| #5 | Menewa | 51% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | R4GiNGPotato | 51% | 57 |
| #7 | Fred | 44% | 71 |
| #8 | Mr. Not Nice | 42% | 26 |
| #9 | Extinctions | 31% | 16 |
| #10 | My bad bro | 30% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fred | 10 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | ๖ۣۜRεDż ⃟⃝ | 4 | 0.0082 |
| #3 | CapTain_eChaN | 3 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | R4GiNGPotato | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Menewa | 2 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fred | 272 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #2 | Menewa | 246 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #3 | 2geNtle | 201 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | R4GiNGPotato | 195 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | CapTain_eChaN | 118 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jz0rs | +1.09 | 74 | 72 |
| #2 | CapTain_eChaN | +0.84 | 71 | 70 |
| #3 | R4GiNGPotato | +0.79 | 68 | 67 |
| #4 | Menewa | +0.62 | 70 | 75 |
| #5 | G0ATS™ | +0.45 | 68 | 58 |





