








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 731 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 321 matches | ||
| Esplay | 69 matches | 2,032 | |
| Faceit | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5174 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,904 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7119 | 36% |
| Smokes | 6038 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3767 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2980 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,239,424 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1635 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ elias | 57% | 40 |
| #2 | Jeff | 57% | 251 |
| #3 | conductor | 55% | 168 |
| #4 | lil postman | 53% | 128 |
| #5 | guster | 53% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | lil postman | 53% | 128 |
| #5 | guster | 53% | 125 |
| #6 | BobDAruler | 53% | 110 |
| #7 | _WeGgasツ | 52% | 33 |
| #8 | DaddyztaR★ | 36% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jeff | 19 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | guster | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | conductor | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | lil postman | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | BobDAruler | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | conductor | 620 | 0.17 | 20 min |
| #2 | Jeff | 574 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #3 | guster | 435 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #4 | BobDAruler | 355 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #5 | lil postman | 352 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hemy-dll | +1.56 | 78 | 70 |
| #2 | _WeGgasツ | +0.71 | 75 | 76 |
| #3 | BobDAruler | +0.64 | 62 | 75 |
| #4 | lil postman | +0.54 | 76 | 68 |
| #5 | guster | +0.24 | 75 | 59 |





